You Down with the OED revisions?

It’s that time of year again: the folks who edit the Oxford English Dictionary (OED) have released a list of the new words that have been incorporated as well as a list of existing words that have gained additional definitions or parts of speech. This list, which was released back in September, gives the stamp of approval to several words that you, me, and everyone we know have been using for decades – words like batshit, apeshit, and face plant. However, the new version of the OED also legitimizes a few words that Miss Merricat has either: (a) never heard of; or, (b) hoped to never hear uttered again.

What bizarre new words has the OED added to its lexicon? Well, several, but my two favorites happen to be “globaloney” and “hand relief.” (The meaning of globaloney you can probably figure out by yourself and, for those of you with dirty minds, the meaning of hand relief may be apparent as well.) As it is always fun to see how the brainy Brits behind the OED define things, here is their definition of globaloney:

          Globaloney, n.: Nonsensical or absurd talk or ideas concerning 
          global issues.

Although the OED traces this word back to 1943, when it was uttered by an American Congressman, Merricat feels positive that most contemporary readers will have no problem using it in a sentence. Here is my example: Everything that George W. Bush has ever said about world politics is globaloney.

Unlike globaloney, which is clearly a word you can throw around at work and in front of small children, “hand relief” has a more limited audience. Have you figured this one out all on your own? If not, here is how the Brits have defined it:

Hand relief, n. slang (chiefly Brit.): Manual stimulation of the (male) genitals to orgasm, esp. performed on one person by another as a paid sexual service.

Which decade produced such a winning piece of slang? If you guessed the 1980’s then you are, clearly, one smart cookie. Merricat was guessing that this originated in the 1960’s, but – in retrospect – that was the decade of FREE love. It was not until the Thatcherite 1980’s that we started to affix price tags to “hand relief.” (That was my sentence using the word. Now you try!)

The staff of the OED clearly did not want to make itself too racy for the average dictionary consumer so, in addition to adding the phrase “hand relief” to its volumes, it also added several twee expressions. While I appreciate twee textile prints, twee wording generally forces me to dry heave. I have heard soccer moms use the word “anyhoo,” but knowing that the OED has now legitimized this as a ‘real’ word literally causes me to go apeshit.

What other misguided words did the OED add this year? Apparently feeling that the word “blessing” was somehow ambiguous, the OED chose to include the odd phrase “unmixed blessing.” No, you have not accidentally face planted; the OED did add the phrase “unmixed blessing” into its lexicon for those times when you are trying to convey:

         

A situation or thing that is wholly advantageous or beneficial.

How is a regular, unmodified, blessing different from its unmixed cousin? I’ll let you work this one out on your own:

Blessing: A beneficent gift of God, nature, etc.; anything that makes one happy or prosperous; a boon.

While I may not agree with all of the OED’s choices this year, at least there is one thing the Brits and I are in wholehearted agreement about: a dictionary just isn’t a dictionary without the word apeshit in it.